Dear Senior Opupulepu,
How are you do? As for me and my household we are doing fine, fine.
Senior, at long last that sweet sound of soul inspiring and salvation inducing sounded in our ears again, “Fellow Garians.”
Senior, if you are seeking salvation and you hear these words, “Fellow Garians,” please seek no further, you are forever saved. You can commit the worst sins later, and yet your place in Heaven is assured double sure. And what will guarantee you safe passage to go along with additional members of your family to that place where you will forever chill with Yesu Christi Emmanuel, is when these words of redemption, “Fellow Garians,” come from the mouth and lips of our one and only Great Leopard, our Omanhene extraordinaire, Odinihuni Nana Onsurowuo Owuobiayeowuo.
Senior, after a long break in transmission, his voice was heard again, rapping these sweet melodic words of salvation. You see, when Odinihuni decided to go for recreation small, the against were saying “Ehhe, he says he is a man, small show Kobby Nanti is dzie-ing here, keke, and this huuhuu man has run for cover.” Please do not quote me here on this one, I am only repeating what the against people said. Others claimed that he has gone for into the Evil Forest to beg for powers from the gods in readiness for the rematch with Onapowura Nana Odinihu Onsurobia.
Senior, since many have known the Great Leopard not to flee in battle, many were those who quivered and shivered, thinking he had gone for evil powers to take their wives and daughters away from them and enslave their sons. Some had attempted to flee the village, only to be reminded in their minds that all entrance and exit points by water, land, underground and air had been shut and locked, and the keys were in the inside of Nana’s inside pocket’s inside. The closure was so tight that no witch is able to fly in or out, not to talk about guinea fowls and other birds of the air. Rats that thought they were smart enough to use the subway, I mean the underground, got trapped and had to forget their plans of travelling. So, no crossover for man to cross.
Senior, then one fine day, Nana returned, and, indeed, he came with much better news than before. When the words from his lips “Fellow Garians” hit the ears of Ogyakromians, every Opoku, Musa and Lawer leapt for joy, and every Serwa, Memuna and Akpetiyo started dancing and shaking their waist gblagaa gblagaa.
Senior, can you imagine that once the words “Garians” sounded inside the ears inside of New-Gin, he had gari soakings for breakfast, gari fotor for lunch, and pinor, as in gari soaked in boiling water, for supper. For his snacks, he went back to his Tom Brown School Days’ life and brought into assemblification a union of gari and sugar, disregarding the social long distance laws, and put them into his unwashed pockets and went sampling bits and bits using his unclean and unsanitised hands.
Senior those who thought our Great Leopard had gone to the Evil Forest were put to S…H…A…Emu…E….SHAME!!! Nana Odinihuni spoke in the Words of Yahweh Almighty and in parables, and said that all the Latin professing, hymn singing, tongues speaking Yahweh’s Only Begotten Son, Yesu Christi Emmanuel, including worshippers of Yahweh Alone the Merciful and Gracious Supreme One, were now allowed to assemble in their numbers at their places of worship, to worship the way they know how. However, they are to adhere to, stick to, and be glued to, the social long distance law. But, Whow? And who says it is easy to follow Yahweh?
Senior, but as for the commercial iron donkeys, iron horses, and iron camels operators and the sellers of edible sanitisers under trees, they have the right and left to overload humans and goods and customers in the places of work.
Senior, there and then the against people went arose, arose, arose and will never be quiet, but always be silly, asking why that as for worshippers, who have the gifts and powers to call upon the Name of the Almighty Yahweh, and can like even command Him to do their will and fulfil their desires by fire by force, like to arrest and lock up Kobby Nanti, they are restricted from overloading and overcrowding their churches and mosques, while those sinful, ginful, wineful unbelieving Gentiles and infidels were asked to overload and overcrowd their business spots.
What was most annoying to them is that about those who choose to serve edible or drinkable sanitisers to innocent drunkards who will drink and get drunk, fall and rise up with difficulties, were now allowed to operate with minimum restrictions. Many were those who started suggesting some suggestions that “surely, goodness and mercy, Nana and Kobby Nanti are One.” Please, I am not among these, yoooo!
Senior, there and then, an angel of Yahweh appeared from the clouds and spoke and said, “Ye men and women of little faith. The Lord Yahweh sayeth: I have heard the cries against my anointed one, your Paramount Chief, the Odinihuni Nana Onsurowuo Owuobiayeowuo, whom I sent to give greetings from Heaven and glad tidings. I commanded him to tell you that those who go to worship, in any form, in My Name are to do so under strict adherence to the safety protocol laws in My presence, because to a believer, ‘no man shall put the Lord thy Yahweh to exams,’ as it is found in both the recordings of ‘The Words of Moses,’ or the Devarim paragraph 6 line 16, and the love letter of Mattityahu paragraph 4 line 7.
“And as for those who are not too sure as to believe in Me, Yahweh, and walk in My ways, My Love still surrounds them. All they have do is to continue to abuse the safety protocols so long as they believe that I, Yahweh, I am on their side, they are safe because in believing in Me, Yahweh, even in their drunkenness, they will walk by faith as recorded in the second chapter of Paul’s love letter to the Korinthiakoi paragraph 5 line 7. So, ye people of Ogyakrom, believe in the Lord thy Yahweh and in His faithful servant, Nana Onsurowuo the Great Leopard, and do not put Yahweh into examination hall and walk in faith, and you shall be free from any attacks from any pestilence. I, Yahweh Your Lord, have spoken.”
Senior, after this short speech, the angel of Yahweh disappeared and all the people said “Amen!!!” and went about their duties fearing Yahweh and believing in Him and his servant, Nana Onsurowuo, the Great Leopard.
Senior, another glad tidings accompanied the sweet sounds of “Fellow Garians.” According to, or is it according from, no it should be according by, since the words were spoken by Nana Onsurowuo; from yesterday to tomorrow to go until future notice, no one should go to the well and fetch water, neither should the girls go to the river side for water, water will be supplied freely in good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over to every single person and every household. Also, no one should go to the bush for firewood, neither should anyone go to buy krazen or maachase or kindle or anything that can give light and/or fire. That too, Nana said, he would supply freely, like manna, to all and sundry, sundry and all.
Senior, rejoicement be what? Come and see people packed in a long queue at the public bath houses, those who bath annually, and that happens only at Klissmass, and those who bath twice a year on Klissmass and when the Eastern Star shines, are now bathing three times a day. I believe I saw New-Gin in their midst, I am not too sure whether he was going to bath, because he looks very lost, as if he has never stepped inside a bath house inside before since his mother weaned him off bathing. Or I think as a konkonsa labourer he was sneaking around to know all those who bath between once and twice a year, and are now bathing thrice a day, and also to know what type of sponge they use and whether their soap is don’t touch me, alata samina, key soap or Lux. In fact, Senior, some sponges have not come into contact with water ever since they were bought. They shiver like maleria has catched them. And Akupas are now able to bath before going after girls; after all, what is man?
Senior, the person everybody is talking about and praising is Nana Osurowuo Owuobiayeowuo. Akupas are now bathing to go after girls; after all, what is man?
As for me, all I can say is to thank Yahweh for Nana, I am Dan, sorry I am Done.
It’s Me!
The post Letter to Senior Opupulepu (102) Oh, that Sweet Sound of “Fellow Garians” and Scriptures Re-Visited appeared first on The Chronicle Online.
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